"Dear Dads: This Father’s Day, Be More Than Present—Be Intentional"

June, 2025

Dear Family Law Community Dads,


Father’s Day is more than a card or a chance to get the grill-out. It’s a pause, a chance to reflect on the bond between you and your children. As a family law attorney, I see a wide spectrum of fathers walk through my doors. Some are warriors for their kids, showing up to every game, doctor’s appointment, and bedtime story, no matter the chaos around them. Others are just beginning to understand what their presence means. Wherever you are on that journey, this letter is for you.


I want to start by saying this: I see you. The dad that wakes up early to catch a FaceTime call before school. The one who fights respectfully for equal parenting time. The one who chooses not to bad-mouth his co-parent even when it’s hard. You are making a difference maybe not always in court papers, but certainly in your child’s heart.


But let’s also talk honestly about what may feel like a double standard. Too often, society and yes, sometimes the court will view fathers through a narrower lens. You’re expected to provide money but not nurture. To visit but not parent. Yet I’ve seen firsthand how many of you are showing up emotionally, not just financially. And to those who haven’t yet leaned into the full depth of your emotional and financial role; I want to challenge you to rise higher. Not for court approval, but for your child.


Custody isn’t just about where your child sleeps on Thursday nights. It’s about who helps with math homework. Who makes the dentist appointments. Who listens when they’re scared. When judges evaluate parenting, they’re not only counting overnights, but they’re also looking for consistency, maturity, and involvement. Emotional presence matters as much as physical presence.


Here’s something I want you to hear clearly: don’t delegate your relationship. I’ve seen fathers defer to new partners to handle the “soft” parts of parenting nurturing, communication, cooking for your child, and putting your child to bed. Your children don’t want a proxy. They want you. Even if you have a child from a prior relationship. All your children still need one-on-one time. This is an issue that the court may notice also. And more importantly, so will your children


With summer and Father’s Day around the corner, there’s no better time to be intentional. Plan that museum trip. Show up to the camp recital. Help your child pack for vacation and not just the sunscreen, but their favorite book. It doesn’t take money. It takes consistency and mindfulness.


From a legal standpoint, all this matters. If you’re seeking more time with your child, courts want to see a consistent pattern of engagement. Not just holiday bursts, but a sustained presence. Not just declarations of love, but daily decisions including making decisions with regards to medical care, education, and the emotional and mental health of your child that prove it.


To the fathers who are doing the work: keep going. Even when it feels like no one notices. Just know that your child does. To those who have struggled to show up in the past: it’s never too late to rewrite your story. Your parenting plan may be typed on paper, but your legacy is written in your child’s memory.


If you’re ready to take the next step, whether that’s modifying your parenting schedule, creating a summer plan, or just getting clarity on your rights. Then I’m here. Let’s build a strategy that honors your role not just as a provider, but as a parent.


Happy Father’s Day everyday. Be intentional. Be present. Be proud.

September 10, 2026
The divorce was finally over. The house had been addressed. The retirement accounts had been discussed. The agreement was signed, and the court entered the divorce judgment. After months—or perhaps years—of dealing with the divorce, “Monica” was ready to move on. What she did not do was check the beneficiary on the retirement account she opened years earlier. She did not review her life insurance policy or the payable-on-death designation on a financial account. Her assumption was simple: “We're divorced. Obviously, my ex isn't my beneficiary anymore.” But is that true? The safest answer for someone divorcing in Maryland is: Don't assume it is. Divorce can affect certain rights of a former spouse, but wills, retirement accounts, life insurance, POD/TOD accounts, trusts, and other assets do not all operate under one universal rule. Does Divorce Automatically Remove My Ex as Beneficiary in Maryland?  Not from everything. Maryland law generally revokes provisions in a will relating to a former spouse after an absolute divorce or annulment, unless the will or divorce decree provides otherwise. But that does not mean you should assume your divorce automatically changed every beneficiary designation. A 401(k), IRA, life insurance policy, annuity, POD/TOD account, trust, and will can be governed by different rules. Employer-sponsored retirement plans can also involve federal law. Your divorce agreement or judgment may even require you to maintain a former spouse or children as beneficiaries of certain assets, such as life insurance. So the better question after divorce is: “Who is listed as the beneficiary of everything I own today—and is that still what I want or what I am legally required to maintain?” Changing Your Will May Not Be Enough Suppose Monica updated her will and left everything to her children. She might think she was finished. But imagine she still has a $600,000 retirement account or $500,000 life insurance policy with an old beneficiary designation. Her will does not necessarily control those assets. Many assets can pass outside probate according to beneficiary designations, contracts, plan documents, or other governing rules.That is why updating your will is important—but it may be only one part of your post-divorce estate planning. What Beneficiaries Should I Review After Divorce? After a Maryland divorce, consider reviewing: 401(k), 403(b), and other employer retirement plans; Traditional and Roth IRAs; Pensions and survivor benefits; Life insurance policies; Annuities; POD bank accounts; TOD investment accounts; Brokerage accounts; Employer death benefits; Deferred compensation; Trusts; and Your will. Don't rely on memory. Check the actual beneficiary records. The person you think is listed may not be the person actually shown on the account. What About My 401(k) After Divorce? Retirement accounts deserve special attention. Employer-sponsored retirement plans may be governed by federal law, including ERISA, as well as the plan's governing documents. Your divorce may also award your former spouse part of a retirement account. Dividing that account may require a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) or another type of retirement order, depending on the plan. Changing a beneficiary designation does not replace the retirement division required by your divorce.These are separate issues that should be coordinated. What About Life Insurance? Do not automatically remove your former spouse from a life insurance policy without checking your divorce documents. For example, your settlement or court order may require life insurance to secure child support, alimony, or another obligation. On the other hand, you may have an old policy naming your former spouse even though no continuing obligation requires it. The right approach is to review each policy against:your divorce agreement + court order + policy terms + current estate-planning goals. Don't Forget POD and TOD Accounts Payable-on-death and transfer-on-death designations are particularly easy to forget. You may have added a beneficiary years ago when opening a bank or investment account. These assets may pass outside your will. So don't review only documents labeled “Last Will and Testament.”Review the accounts themselves. What If I Want My Ex to Remain a Beneficiary? That may be appropriate in some situations.Y ou may share children. Your settlement may require it. Or maintaining your former spouse as beneficiary may simply be your choice. The important issue is intentionality . Your former spouse should not receive—or fail to receive—an asset simply because nobody remembered a beneficiary form signed years ago. Should I Change Beneficiaries While My Divorce Is Pending? Be careful. If your divorce is still pending, do not start changing beneficiaries, transferring assets, cancelling insurance, or making significant financial changes without first understanding your legal obligations. Court orders, agreements, plan requirements, insurance obligations, or other circumstances may affect what you can or should change. Instead, ask: What can I change now? What must remain in place during the divorce? What does the settlement require? What should I change immediately after the divorce becomes final? Your Post-Divorce Estate-Planning Checklist Once the divorce is final, consider reviewing these ten areas: 1. Will — Does it reflect your current wishes? 2. Trust — Is your former spouse still a trustee, beneficiary, or decision-maker? 3. Financial power of attorney — Who should handle your finances if you cannot? 4. Advance directive — Who should make healthcare decisions for you? 5. Retirement beneficiaries — Check the actual designation maintained by each plan or custodian. 6. Life insurance — Compare beneficiaries against your divorce obligations. 7. POD/TOD accounts — Review bank and investment accounts. 8. Property ownership — Make sure deeds and titles reflect the divorce judgment or agreement. 9. Employer benefits — Review workplace insurance, retirement, deferred compensation, and death benefits. 10. Backup beneficiaries and decision-makers — Removing your former spouse is only half the job. Decide who should take that person's place. Frequently Asked Questions Does divorce automatically remove my ex from my will in Maryland? Maryland law generally revokes provisions in a will relating to a former spouse after an absolute divorce or annulment, unless the will or divorce decree provides otherwise. Updating the will is still important so your wishes are clear. Does divorce automatically remove my ex from my 401(k)? Do not assume that it does. Employer retirement plans can involve federal law and plan-specific requirements. Review the actual beneficiary designation, divorce judgment, applicable retirement order, and plan documents. Does changing my will change my retirement beneficiary? Generally, you should not assume it does. Retirement accounts typically have separate beneficiary designations and governing rules. Should I change my life insurance beneficiary after divorce? Review it, but first determine whether your divorce agreement or court order requires you to maintain particular coverage or beneficiaries. Is changing my will enough after divorce? Usually not. A comprehensive review should also consider retirement accounts, life insurance, trusts, powers of attorney, advance directives, POD/TOD accounts, property ownership, and other beneficiary-designated assets. Your Divorce May Be Final. Your Financial Cleanup May Not Be By the time Monica reviewed everything, she realized that her estate plan was still telling the story of her married life. Her former spouse remained connected to financial decisions she had simply forgotten about. Her children were older. Her assets had changed. Her relationships had changed. Her estate plan needed to change too. That is the larger lesson.Your divorce judgment may end your marriage, but it does not necessarily update every part of your financial and estate plan. If you are divorcing or recently divorced in Rockville, Bethesda, Potomac, Columbia, Montgomery County, Howard County, Prince George's County, or elsewhere in Maryland , a post-divorce beneficiary and estate-planning review can help determine whether your documents and accounts still reflect your intentions. The Law Office of Cherise L. Williams LLC assists clients with Maryland divorce and estate planning, including wills, trusts, powers of attorney, advance directives, property planning, and post-divorce planning. Your divorce decree may end your marriage. Make sure your financial and estate plan reflects the life you're living now.
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