"Dear Dads: This Father’s Day, Be More Than Present—Be Intentional"

Dear Family Law Community Dads,

Father’s Day is more than a card or a chance to get the grill-out. It’s a pause, a chance to reflect on the bond between you and your children. As a family law attorney, I see a wide spectrum of fathers walk through my doors. Some are warriors for their kids, showing up to every game, doctor’s appointment, and bedtime story, no matter the chaos around them. Others are just beginning to understand what their presence means. Wherever you are on that journey, this letter is for you.

I want to start by saying this: I see you. The dad that wakes up early to catch a FaceTime call before school. The one who fights respectfully for equal parenting time. The one who chooses not to bad-mouth his co-parent even when it’s hard. You are making a difference maybe not always in court papers, but certainly in your child’s heart.

But let’s also talk honestly about what may feel like a double standard. Too often, society and yes, sometimes the court will view fathers through a narrower lens. You’re expected to provide money but not nurture. To visit but not parent. Yet I’ve seen firsthand how many of you are showing up emotionally, not just financially. And to those who haven’t yet leaned into the full depth of your emotional and financial role; I want to challenge you to rise higher. Not for court approval, but for your child.

Custody isn’t just about where your child sleeps on Thursday nights. It’s about who helps with math homework. Who makes the dentist appointments. Who listens when they’re scared. When judges evaluate parenting, they’re not only counting overnights, but they’re also looking for consistency, maturity, and involvement. Emotional presence matters as much as physical presence.

Here’s something I want you to hear clearly: don’t delegate your relationship. I’ve seen fathers defer to new partners to handle the “soft” parts of parenting nurturing, communication, cooking for your child, and putting your child to bed. Your children don’t want a proxy. They want you. Even if you have a child from a prior relationship. All your children still need one-on-one time. This is an issue that the court may notice also. And more importantly, so will your children

With summer and Father’s Day around the corner, there’s no better time to be intentional. Plan that museum trip. Show up to the camp recital. Help your child pack for vacation and not just the sunscreen, but their favorite book. It doesn’t take money. It takes consistency and mindfulness.

From a legal standpoint, all this matters. If you’re seeking more time with your child, courts want to see a consistent pattern of engagement. Not just holiday bursts, but a sustained presence. Not just declarations of love, but daily decisions including making decisions with regards to medical care, education, and the emotional and mental health of your child that prove it.

To the fathers who are doing the work: keep going. Even when it feels like no one notices. Just know that your child does. To those who have struggled to show up in the past: it’s never too late to rewrite your story. Your parenting plan may be typed on paper, but your legacy is written in your child’s memory.

If you’re ready to take the next step, whether that’s modifying your parenting schedule, creating a summer plan, or just getting clarity on your rights. Then I’m here. Let’s build a strategy that honors your role not just as a provider, but as a parent.

Happy Father’s Day everyday. Be intentional. Be present. Be proud.