Working Together in Collaboration: An Attorney’s View on Supporting Clients Through Parenting Plan Challenges

December, 2025

I had just picked up the phone when I heard the familiar tension in my client’s voice. They had just left a session with the family coach, the mental health professional who supports parents through the emotional and communication challenges of building a parenting plan during the collaborative divorce process.


This wasn’t our first check-in after a coaching session. Typically, with the mental health coach the client meets with the coach at times it can be alone but most of the time it is with the co-parent.  Every so often the client will reach out to me to talk through how things are unfolding, especially when emotions run high or difficult decisions are on the table that involve parenting.


That day, my client was feeling a mix of hope, frustration, and uncertainty. Some pieces of the proposed parenting plan made sense to them. Others stirred discomfort. They weren’t sure how to interpret the coach’s suggestions, and they needed to vent a little. This is a time where I can get them grounded in the legal side of things. I help connect the dots between what’s being explored in coaching and how it will eventually take shape in the written settlement agreement. I help them reality-test, express concerns clearly, and prepare for the next step: whether that can be raised at a professional only or team meeting. Most of the time the client just needs to have a quiet night of reflection.


That’s the power of the collaborative process. Each professional brings their own lane of support. The coach helps parents communicate and use tools to understand each other. I make sure their legal rights are protected and their concerns are heard. Together, we help clients move forward thoughtfully, not reactively.


One of the core strengths of the collaborative law process is transparency. Unlike traditional litigation, where information can be withheld to gain leverage, collaboration requires honesty so we can solve problems effectively as a team.


If you share concerns with me, such as feeling emotionally overwhelmed, struggling to communicate with your co-parent, worrying about safety, or facing scheduling barriers, I generally will bring these issues to the team with your permission.




This ensures that:

  • The process remains safe for everyone involved.
  • The team can adjust strategy, whether that means adding a joint coaching session, slowing the pace of meetings, or revisiting a parenting plan structure.
  • The parenting plan stays realistic and child-centered, rather than aspirational but unworkable.
  • No one is working in the dark, which is essential for out-of-court solutions.


Transparency prevents misunderstandings and protects the integrity of the collaborative divorce team. When everyone has access to the same information, your parenting plan becomes stronger, safer, and more aligned with your child’s best interests.


Every parenting plan will have moments that challenge you. That does not mean the collaborative process is failing, it means you are doing the hard, important work of setting up a healthy future for your child. 


With open communication, honesty, emotional awareness, and guidance from a skilled collaborative divorce team, you can create a plan that truly supports your long-term goals and your child’s well-being. Together, we help clients move forward thoughtfully, not reactively. 


If you need a collaborative divorce family law attorney in Rockville, MD Schedule a consultation with us today!

September 10, 2026
The divorce was finally over. The house had been addressed. The retirement accounts had been discussed. The agreement was signed, and the court entered the divorce judgment. After months—or perhaps years—of dealing with the divorce, “Monica” was ready to move on. What she did not do was check the beneficiary on the retirement account she opened years earlier. She did not review her life insurance policy or the payable-on-death designation on a financial account. Her assumption was simple: “We're divorced. Obviously, my ex isn't my beneficiary anymore.” But is that true? The safest answer for someone divorcing in Maryland is: Don't assume it is. Divorce can affect certain rights of a former spouse, but wills, retirement accounts, life insurance, POD/TOD accounts, trusts, and other assets do not all operate under one universal rule. Does Divorce Automatically Remove My Ex as Beneficiary in Maryland?  Not from everything. Maryland law generally revokes provisions in a will relating to a former spouse after an absolute divorce or annulment, unless the will or divorce decree provides otherwise. But that does not mean you should assume your divorce automatically changed every beneficiary designation. A 401(k), IRA, life insurance policy, annuity, POD/TOD account, trust, and will can be governed by different rules. Employer-sponsored retirement plans can also involve federal law. Your divorce agreement or judgment may even require you to maintain a former spouse or children as beneficiaries of certain assets, such as life insurance. So the better question after divorce is: “Who is listed as the beneficiary of everything I own today—and is that still what I want or what I am legally required to maintain?” Changing Your Will May Not Be Enough Suppose Monica updated her will and left everything to her children. She might think she was finished. But imagine she still has a $600,000 retirement account or $500,000 life insurance policy with an old beneficiary designation. Her will does not necessarily control those assets. Many assets can pass outside probate according to beneficiary designations, contracts, plan documents, or other governing rules.That is why updating your will is important—but it may be only one part of your post-divorce estate planning. What Beneficiaries Should I Review After Divorce? After a Maryland divorce, consider reviewing: 401(k), 403(b), and other employer retirement plans; Traditional and Roth IRAs; Pensions and survivor benefits; Life insurance policies; Annuities; POD bank accounts; TOD investment accounts; Brokerage accounts; Employer death benefits; Deferred compensation; Trusts; and Your will. Don't rely on memory. Check the actual beneficiary records. The person you think is listed may not be the person actually shown on the account. What About My 401(k) After Divorce? Retirement accounts deserve special attention. Employer-sponsored retirement plans may be governed by federal law, including ERISA, as well as the plan's governing documents. Your divorce may also award your former spouse part of a retirement account. Dividing that account may require a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) or another type of retirement order, depending on the plan. Changing a beneficiary designation does not replace the retirement division required by your divorce.These are separate issues that should be coordinated. What About Life Insurance? Do not automatically remove your former spouse from a life insurance policy without checking your divorce documents. For example, your settlement or court order may require life insurance to secure child support, alimony, or another obligation. On the other hand, you may have an old policy naming your former spouse even though no continuing obligation requires it. The right approach is to review each policy against:your divorce agreement + court order + policy terms + current estate-planning goals. Don't Forget POD and TOD Accounts Payable-on-death and transfer-on-death designations are particularly easy to forget. You may have added a beneficiary years ago when opening a bank or investment account. These assets may pass outside your will. So don't review only documents labeled “Last Will and Testament.”Review the accounts themselves. What If I Want My Ex to Remain a Beneficiary? That may be appropriate in some situations.Y ou may share children. Your settlement may require it. Or maintaining your former spouse as beneficiary may simply be your choice. The important issue is intentionality . Your former spouse should not receive—or fail to receive—an asset simply because nobody remembered a beneficiary form signed years ago. Should I Change Beneficiaries While My Divorce Is Pending? Be careful. If your divorce is still pending, do not start changing beneficiaries, transferring assets, cancelling insurance, or making significant financial changes without first understanding your legal obligations. Court orders, agreements, plan requirements, insurance obligations, or other circumstances may affect what you can or should change. Instead, ask: What can I change now? What must remain in place during the divorce? What does the settlement require? What should I change immediately after the divorce becomes final? Your Post-Divorce Estate-Planning Checklist Once the divorce is final, consider reviewing these ten areas: 1. Will — Does it reflect your current wishes? 2. Trust — Is your former spouse still a trustee, beneficiary, or decision-maker? 3. Financial power of attorney — Who should handle your finances if you cannot? 4. Advance directive — Who should make healthcare decisions for you? 5. Retirement beneficiaries — Check the actual designation maintained by each plan or custodian. 6. Life insurance — Compare beneficiaries against your divorce obligations. 7. POD/TOD accounts — Review bank and investment accounts. 8. Property ownership — Make sure deeds and titles reflect the divorce judgment or agreement. 9. Employer benefits — Review workplace insurance, retirement, deferred compensation, and death benefits. 10. Backup beneficiaries and decision-makers — Removing your former spouse is only half the job. Decide who should take that person's place. Frequently Asked Questions Does divorce automatically remove my ex from my will in Maryland? Maryland law generally revokes provisions in a will relating to a former spouse after an absolute divorce or annulment, unless the will or divorce decree provides otherwise. Updating the will is still important so your wishes are clear. Does divorce automatically remove my ex from my 401(k)? Do not assume that it does. Employer retirement plans can involve federal law and plan-specific requirements. Review the actual beneficiary designation, divorce judgment, applicable retirement order, and plan documents. Does changing my will change my retirement beneficiary? Generally, you should not assume it does. Retirement accounts typically have separate beneficiary designations and governing rules. Should I change my life insurance beneficiary after divorce? Review it, but first determine whether your divorce agreement or court order requires you to maintain particular coverage or beneficiaries. Is changing my will enough after divorce? Usually not. A comprehensive review should also consider retirement accounts, life insurance, trusts, powers of attorney, advance directives, POD/TOD accounts, property ownership, and other beneficiary-designated assets. Your Divorce May Be Final. Your Financial Cleanup May Not Be By the time Monica reviewed everything, she realized that her estate plan was still telling the story of her married life. Her former spouse remained connected to financial decisions she had simply forgotten about. Her children were older. Her assets had changed. Her relationships had changed. Her estate plan needed to change too. That is the larger lesson.Your divorce judgment may end your marriage, but it does not necessarily update every part of your financial and estate plan. If you are divorcing or recently divorced in Rockville, Bethesda, Potomac, Columbia, Montgomery County, Howard County, Prince George's County, or elsewhere in Maryland , a post-divorce beneficiary and estate-planning review can help determine whether your documents and accounts still reflect your intentions. The Law Office of Cherise L. Williams LLC assists clients with Maryland divorce and estate planning, including wills, trusts, powers of attorney, advance directives, property planning, and post-divorce planning. Your divorce decree may end your marriage. Make sure your financial and estate plan reflects the life you're living now.
By The Law Office of Cherise L. Williams LLC August 20, 2026
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